[00:00.000] 作曲 : Quinlan Stuwe
[00:04.259]Woah! If it isn't a Lightner!
[00:06.442]Hey, hey, hey!
[00:07.742]Looks like you’re （All Alone On A Late Night）
[00:09.414]All your friends （Abandoned you for the slime）, you are?
[00:12.127]Sales gone down the (Drain)(Drain)?
[00:14.336]Living in a goddamn garbage can?
[00:17.228]Hahahahaha!
[00:19.562]Friend, either you're (Closing Your Eyes)
[00:21.277]To (Savings)you do not wish to acknowledge
[00:22.968]Or you are not aware of the calibre of (Discounts)
[00:25.368]Indicated by the presence of a(HeartShapedObject)
[00:27.429]In your community
[00:30.553]Hey kid, look at you! Right time, right place
[00:32.199](Ripe for the picking) right monеy in your pocket!
[00:34.084]You’re so lucky! Very lucky! Oh, so vеry, very lucky!
[00:35.815]That you get to be investing in this(Very Specil Product)
[00:37.527]From everybody’s favorite (Number 1 Rated Salesman)(Circa 1997)
[00:40.949]Mighty proud to say it! Mighty proud to say it!
[00:42.594]Yes, I’m mighty proud to say it! (YES SIR)
[00:44.545]Don’t you want to have a little fun (little sponge)?
[00:46.072]Little something to pluck you from the glum humdrum?
[00:47.734]Live comfortably(CAPITAL AT RISK)yum-yum!
[00:49.385]Listen up! For the offer only comes just once
[00:51.142](Hey, Chum!) I can see you’re having violent thoughts
[00:53.009]But don’t you wanna wanna be a be a (BIG SHOT!!!)
[00:54.636](Enquire Today!) while the secret’s in stock!
[00:56.263]All you gotta do is (HYPERLINK BLOCKED)
[00:58.131]I used to be nothing but the email guy
[01:00.290]Now I’m the (It Burns! Ow! Stop! Help Me! It Burns!) guy!
[01:04.573]Hahahahahaha!
[01:05.039]We’ve got never bettered bargains
[01:06.366]We’ve got deals you won’t believe
[01:08.026]We can tell you what you want
[01:09.674]Before you realise what you need
[01:11.436]If you’ll pardon us the jargon
[01:13.126]Here’s our Darkner guarantee
[01:14.857]We take cash or card or credit
[01:16.594]But we’ll take your heart for free
[01:18.061]Are you feeling down? Have you lost control?
[01:19.782]Is your life a mess? Do your friends despise you?
[01:21.845]Well, here’s one weird trick (discovered by a mom)
[01:23.662]And I’m sure number five will surprise you!
[01:25.323]All you’ve ever dreamed of, shining, glistening!
[01:26.936]Gotta buckle up! Grab life by the (Silly String)!
[01:28.748]You can have it! You can have it! Say the word, it’s yours!
[01:30.526]Hahahahaha! I wasn’t listening
[01:32.284]See, it says just here, right here, last year
[01:33.993]On the third of the fourth at 5:06
[01:35.702]You searched cat pics online (Well That’s Just Fine)
[01:38.083]Moist, delicious cookies
[01:39.395]Little tippy-tap kitty catalyst, now we have a list
[01:41.320]And we’ll guess what every habit is
[01:42.229]Wanna buy a cat flap? Cat food? Catchup? Catamaran?
[01:44.575]You’ll be categorically catatonic
[01:45.803]At the catalogue of categories I have at my hands
[01:47.565]A (Cavalcade Of All Your Favorite Brands)
[01:48.939]An advertism schism cataclysm (Cash On Demand)
[01:50.679]You’d better cancel your plans
[01:51.430](Cash for the crackers and the pickles and the flypaper)!
[01:53.013]Wanna buy a cat plush? Plush toy? Toy box? Box wine?
[01:55.296]Why won’t Mike just call me?
[01:56.371]Backgammon? Ham and eggs? Egg chair? Chair bed?
[01:58.301]Bed bath? Bath sponge? Sponge who hates its ($4.99)
[02:00.571]Life boat? Boat shoe? Shoestring? String bean?
[02:02.683]Bean bag? Bagpipes? Pipe bomb? Bomber jacket?
[02:04.071]Jackdaw? Doorstop?
[02:04.686](Stop! No, Please! Don’t Take My Furniture!)
[02:06.712]Stopwatch? Watchdog? Dog collar? Colorado?
[02:08.462]Adderall? Ads are all seeping
[02:09.646]Ping pong? Ponchos? Choke chains? Chainsaws?
[02:11.468]Swordfish? Shish kebab? Bobcat?
[02:13.020](Do You Want A Cat Or Not?!)
[02:13.769]Well, you wanna be a (BIG SHOT) don’t you?
[02:15.468]Don’t you wanna be the (NEXT BIG THING)
[02:17.192]You can do it! Yes, it’s true, it’s really true
[02:18.470]There’s nothing to it, I can prove it, hear the registers ring!
[02:20.419]Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring
[02:22.442]You’re kidding? It’s for you *garbage noise*
[02:24.899]Wanna know a secret? (HYPERLINK BLOCKED)
[02:27.396](You too can) have a (Communion) with (Unintelligible Laughter)
[02:31.123]Soon, I’ll even surpass that damned clown around town!
[02:33.937]We’ve got never bettered bargains
[02:35.483]We’ve got deals you won’t believe
[02:37.154]We can tell you what you want
[02:38.761]Before you realise what you need
[02:40.614]If you’ll pardon us the jargon
[02:42.323]Here’s our Darkner guarantee
[02:44.005]We take cash or card or credit
[02:45.850]But we’ll take your heart for free
[02:48.046]Holy (Cungadero) there you (Funky) little (Worm)
[02:49.551]You seem unaware of all the money you could earn
[02:51.256]If you wanna get the gold
[02:52.049]Well, there is stuff you gotta learn
[02:52.903]Milk the humans of their kindness
[02:53.931]Then there’s (Butter To Be Churned)
[02:54.779]You want it, need it, don't you see?
[02:57.777]But if you wanna make your screen green
[02:59.902]You’re gonna need my kromer key
[03:01.385]Yes, you’ve got trouble, my friend (WHADAYATALK?)
[03:02.797]Right here in Cyber City
[03:04.576]See, I used to be a (Top-notch) (BIG SHOT!!!)
[03:05.881]Best deals! Best wheels! Best, (Best Prices In The Tri-State Area)
[03:08.564]But you can get it back! Hahaha! Yes, you can!
[03:10.056]All you gotta do is follow through my (Twelve Step Plan)
[03:11.754]Bigger, bigger, better like the telephone was telling me
[03:13.642](You Gotta Know The Territory!!!) Spend a hand, lend a grand
[03:15.240]Who’s gonna patronize a little bitty
[03:16.658]Two-by-four kinda store anymore?
[03:18.007]Gotta go! Gotta get! Gotta get on and go!
[03:19.614]Make a deal! Big deal, high score! Our store is closing
[03:22.015]Hot tip! Drop shipping! 4 3 2 1
[03:23.884]Not skipping offers wired into your inbox
[03:25.602]Swing by the gift shop! Think of the (BIG SHOT!!!)
[03:27.160]All this and more click (HYPERLINK BLOCKED)
[03:31.348]...can anyone hear me? Help
[03:38.239]...Mike... Mike? Hahahaha!
[03:42.641]We’ve got never bettered bargains
[03:44.071]We’ve got deals you won’t believe
[03:45.733]We can tell you what you want
[03:47.239]Before you realise what you need
[03:49.141]If you’ll pardon us the jargon
[03:50.846]Here’s our Darkner guarantee
[03:52.569]We take cash or card or credit
[03:54.259]But we’ll take your heart for free
[03:56.187](Insurance!) Know that I’m the best in policy!
[03:57.995](Honestly) do you want to end in poverty?
[03:59.907]Buddy, I’m the one to help invest it properly!
[04:01.489]I’m here to talk about (Extended Warranty)!
[04:03.342]It’s a super bumper, liquidation, last chance
[04:04.533]First day, half price, fire sale like never before!
[04:06.517]And it’s there to explore, when you step in the door
[04:08.118]The very model of a modern major general store!
[04:10.140]But the fact is everybody’s gotta have it, gotta have it
[04:11.804]Those who have it really have it
[04:12.605]If you haven’t, well, you’ve had it, couldn’t hack it
[04:13.954]Now the haven'ts haven't had it and the haves are very glad it's
[04:15.747]Just the haven'ts that're lacking what they’re having
[04:16.966]Now the ads have got the traffic
[04:17.995]And we’ve grabbed your demographic
[04:18.652]So you’re packing up your basket
[04:19.580]'Cause your dad has gotta have it
[04:20.528]He’ll be sad if you don’t wrap it with a tag, it’ll be tragic
[04:21.953]So you’re manically grabbing at the shelves amid the panic
[04:23.643]Seems that everybody has it, man, you really gotta have it
[04:25.399]So you get it, you’re ecstatic but a crackle in the static
[04:27.103]And the it is out of fashion, just a fad, a piece of plastic
[04:28.808]So you trash it then you get back into your car
[04:29.906]'Cause you don’t have it
[04:30.429]And the fact is everybody’s gotta have it, gotta have it
[04:32.386]Those who have it really have it
[04:32.897]If you haven’t, well, you’ve had it, couldn’t hack it
[04:34.071]Now the haven'ts haven't had it and the hads are very glad it's
[04:36.089](Hochi-mama) what a mouthful!
[04:37.567]In the (Encyclopedia of) (Being Afraid)
[04:39.180]There ain’t nothing to be scared of 'til there’s fees to be paid
[04:40.908]There’s deals to be made with (Seasonal Savings)!
[04:42.752]Regional ratings are lethally fading
[04:44.407]Screaming and raving, ceaseless appraising
[04:46.276](Neat little plate with a needless engraving)
[04:47.900]Legally grey but sweet with the phrasing
[04:49.556]Feet in the grave but gleefully trading
[04:51.333]Feeding the cravings, eat little plaything
[04:53.251]Deals so good I’ll **** myself
[04:54.748]Feeding the cravings, eat little plaything
[04:56.526](Gone with the sugar barrel, pickle barrel, milk pan)
[04:58.037]Feeding the cravings, eat little plaything
[04:59.459]I can feel that (Smooth Taste) already!
[05:01.607]Feeding the cravings, eat little plaything
[05:04.098](HYPERLINK BLOCKED)

作曲 : Quinlan Stuwe
Woah! If it isn't a Lightner!
Hey, hey, hey!
Looks like you’re （All Alone On A Late Night）
All your friends （Abandoned you for the slime）, you are?
Sales gone down the (Drain)(Drain)?
Living in a goddamn garbage can?
Hahahahaha!
Friend, either you're (Closing Your Eyes)
To (Savings)you do not wish to acknowledge
Or you are not aware of the calibre of (Discounts)
Indicated by the presence of a(HeartShapedObject)
In your community
Hey kid, look at you! Right time, right place
(Ripe for the picking) right monеy in your pocket!
You’re so lucky! Very lucky! Oh, so vеry, very lucky!
That you get to be investing in this(Very Specil Product)
From everybody’s favorite (Number 1 Rated Salesman)(Circa 1997)
Mighty proud to say it! Mighty proud to say it!
Yes, I’m mighty proud to say it! (YES SIR)
Don’t you want to have a little fun (little sponge)?
Little something to pluck you from the glum humdrum?
Live comfortably(CAPITAL AT RISK)yum-yum!
Listen up! For the offer only comes just once
(Hey, Chum!) I can see you’re having violent thoughts
But don’t you wanna wanna be a be a (BIG SHOT!!!)
(Enquire Today!) while the secret’s in stock!
All you gotta do is (HYPERLINK BLOCKED)
I used to be nothing but the email guy
Now I’m the (It Burns! Ow! Stop! Help Me! It Burns!) guy!
Hahahahahaha!
We’ve got never bettered bargains
We’ve got deals you won’t believe
We can tell you what you want
Before you realise what you need
If you’ll pardon us the jargon
Here’s our Darkner guarantee
We take cash or card or credit
But we’ll take your heart for free
Are you feeling down? Have you lost control?
Is your life a mess? Do your friends despise you?
Well, here’s one weird trick (discovered by a mom)
And I’m sure number five will surprise you!
All you’ve ever dreamed of, shining, glistening!
Gotta buckle up! Grab life by the (Silly String)!
You can have it! You can have it! Say the word, it’s yours!
Hahahahaha! I wasn’t listening
See, it says just here, right here, last year
On the third of the fourth at 5:06
You searched cat pics online (Well That’s Just Fine)
Moist, delicious cookies
Little tippy-tap kitty catalyst, now we have a list
And we’ll guess what every habit is
Wanna buy a cat flap? Cat food? Catchup? Catamaran?
You’ll be categorically catatonic
At the catalogue of categories I have at my hands
A (Cavalcade Of All Your Favorite Brands)
An advertism schism cataclysm (Cash On Demand)
You’d better cancel your plans
(Cash for the crackers and the pickles and the flypaper)!
Wanna buy a cat plush? Plush toy? Toy box? Box wine?
Why won’t Mike just call me?
Backgammon? Ham and eggs? Egg chair? Chair bed?
Bed bath? Bath sponge? Sponge who hates its ($4.99)
Life boat? Boat shoe? Shoestring? String bean?
Bean bag? Bagpipes? Pipe bomb? Bomber jacket?
Jackdaw? Doorstop?
(Stop! No, Please! Don’t Take My Furniture!)
Stopwatch? Watchdog? Dog collar? Colorado?
Adderall? Ads are all seeping
Ping pong? Ponchos? Choke chains? Chainsaws?
Swordfish? Shish kebab? Bobcat?
(Do You Want A Cat Or Not?!)
Well, you wanna be a (BIG SHOT) don’t you?
Don’t you wanna be the (NEXT BIG THING)
You can do it! Yes, it’s true, it’s really true
There’s nothing to it, I can prove it, hear the registers ring!
Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring
You’re kidding? It’s for you *garbage noise*
Wanna know a secret? (HYPERLINK BLOCKED)
(You too can) have a (Communion) with (Unintelligible Laughter)
Soon, I’ll even surpass that damned clown around town!
We’ve got never bettered bargains
We’ve got deals you won’t believe
We can tell you what you want
Before you realise what you need
If you’ll pardon us the jargon
Here’s our Darkner guarantee
We take cash or card or credit
But we’ll take your heart for free
Holy (Cungadero) there you (Funky) little (Worm)
You seem unaware of all the money you could earn
If you wanna get the gold
Well, there is stuff you gotta learn
Milk the humans of their kindness
Then there’s (Butter To Be Churned)
You want it, need it, don't you see?
But if you wanna make your screen green
You’re gonna need my kromer key
Yes, you’ve got trouble, my friend (WHADAYATALK?)
Right here in Cyber City
See, I used to be a (Top-notch) (BIG SHOT!!!)
Best deals! Best wheels! Best, (Best Prices In The Tri-State Area)
But you can get it back! Hahaha! Yes, you can!
All you gotta do is follow through my (Twelve Step Plan)
Bigger, bigger, better like the telephone was telling me
(You Gotta Know The Territory!!!) Spend a hand, lend a grand
Who’s gonna patronize a little bitty
Two-by-four kinda store anymore?
Gotta go! Gotta get! Gotta get on and go!
Make a deal! Big deal, high score! Our store is closing
Hot tip! Drop shipping! 4 3 2 1
Not skipping offers wired into your inbox
Swing by the gift shop! Think of the (BIG SHOT!!!)
All this and more click (HYPERLINK BLOCKED)
...can anyone hear me? Help
...Mike... Mike? Hahahaha!
We’ve got never bettered bargains
We’ve got deals you won’t believe
We can tell you what you want
Before you realise what you need
If you’ll pardon us the jargon
Here’s our Darkner guarantee
We take cash or card or credit
But we’ll take your heart for free
(Insurance!) Know that I’m the best in policy!
(Honestly) do you want to end in poverty?
Buddy, I’m the one to help invest it properly!
I’m here to talk about (Extended Warranty)!
It’s a super bumper, liquidation, last chance
First day, half price, fire sale like never before!
And it’s there to explore, when you step in the door
The very model of a modern major general store!
But the fact is everybody’s gotta have it, gotta have it
Those who have it really have it
If you haven’t, well, you’ve had it, couldn’t hack it
Now the haven'ts haven't had it and the haves are very glad it's
Just the haven'ts that're lacking what they’re having
Now the ads have got the traffic
And we’ve grabbed your demographic
So you’re packing up your basket
'Cause your dad has gotta have it
He’ll be sad if you don’t wrap it with a tag, it’ll be tragic
So you’re manically grabbing at the shelves amid the panic
Seems that everybody has it, man, you really gotta have it
So you get it, you’re ecstatic but a crackle in the static
And the it is out of fashion, just a fad, a piece of plastic
So you trash it then you get back into your car
'Cause you don’t have it
And the fact is everybody’s gotta have it, gotta have it
Those who have it really have it
If you haven’t, well, you’ve had it, couldn’t hack it
Now the haven'ts haven't had it and the hads are very glad it's
(Hochi-mama) what a mouthful!
In the (Encyclopedia of) (Being Afraid)
There ain’t nothing to be scared of 'til there’s fees to be paid
There’s deals to be made with (Seasonal Savings)!
Regional ratings are lethally fading
Screaming and raving, ceaseless appraising
(Neat little plate with a needless engraving)
Legally grey but sweet with the phrasing
Feet in the grave but gleefully trading
Feeding the cravings, eat little plaything
Deals so good I’ll **** myself
Feeding the cravings, eat little plaything
(Gone with the sugar barrel, pickle barrel, milk pan)
Feeding the cravings, eat little plaything
I can feel that (Smooth Taste) already!
Feeding the cravings, eat little plaything
(HYPERLINK BLOCKED)